Thoughts on Bodies + Pumpkin Cupcakes topped with Cream Cheese Frosting, Salted Caramel, and Chocolate Ganache

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I was born with this body. And even when I was thinner, my body still more or less resembled its current state.Like the myth of the American Dream, I too believed that if I worked hard enough I would have the body I wanted. But the body I wanted looked nothing like the body I have. Despite knowing this, I still tried to change my physical body to resemble my version of the perfect body.We are born into our bodies and the truth is that we have little control over their shape.When I thought I could control my body it ruined my life. Because I was chasing an elusive dream. The most freeing thing I have ever done is to accept. Accept that my body is just how it is. Accept that I don't like my body. Accept and not wish or will away. It is the most difficult thing a person can do. We are taught that we can and should control our bodies, that they will bend to our will. We try the same thing a thousand times and we expect something different, that maybe this time our bodies will cooperate. And they never do. Because they aren't meant to be controlled.

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Pumpkin Cupcakes - recipe adapted from Sweetapolita

1 cup sugar

1/2 cup brown sugar

3 eggs

3/4 cup vegetable oil

1 can of pumpkin

2 cups flour

1 teaspoon salt

1 tablespoon baking powder

2 teaspoons cinnamon

1 teaspoon ginger

1/2 teaspoon nutmeg

Directions:

Preheat oven to 350 degrees F.

In a mixing bowl combine eggs, oil, sugar, and pumpkin. Whisk till well blended and homogenous.

Add in all dry ingredients at one time. Mix till just combined.

Spoon batter into cupcakes liners. Bake for 18 to 22 minutes.

Cream Cheese Frosting - recipe adapted from Sweetapolita

8 ounces cream cheese

1 stick (8oz) butter

3-4 cups powdered sugar

1/2 cup chopped chocolate

Directions:

In a stand mixer bowl fitted with paddle attachment, beat butter till light and fluffy.

Add in cream cheese and mix till combined. Add in powdered sugar. Mix.

Add in chocolate.

Salted Caramel - recipe adapted from Sweetapolita

1 cup sugar

1/4 cup water

1/4 teaspoon cream of tartar

1/2 cup whipping cream

1 tablespoon butter

sea salt

Directions:

Over low flame in a heavy medium sauce pan heat the sugar, water, and cream of tartar. Stir until sugar dissolves. Once sugar has dissolved, increase heat to medium and stop stirring.

When mixture starts to quickly turn a golden amber color, remove from heat and add in the cream and butter.

Whisk the mixture and return to the stovetop. Cook until the mixture reaches 248 degrees F. Remove from heat and let cool.

Chocolate Ganache

1/2 cup chocolate chips

2 tablespoons whipping cream

Directions:

Place chocolate and cream in a dry, heatproof bowl.

In a saucepan over medium flame, heat 1 to 2 inches of water.

Place bowl of chocolate and cream over saucepan. Chocolate and cream will melt together. Stir to help them combine.

To assemble cupcakes:

Use an ice cream scoop to scoop a ball of frosting on top of the cupcakes. Use a spoon to spread the frosting out a little bit and make an indent in the middle.

Spoon the caramel into the indent.

Transfer chocolate ganache to a piping bag with a very small hole cut out of the bottom. Drizzle across the top of the cupcakes.